Me: I think I have a..blackhead.
Me:It’s all gross and stuff. Look at my chin. LOOK.
Husband: It’s a pore.
Me: People are going to like, see it.
Me: And they’re going to think I’m gross. Because it’s totally a blackhead. And it’s giant.Everywhere I go people are going to be staring at it. Ill have conversations with the lady at the checkout and she’ll be like unable to comprehend what I am saying because she won’t be able to stop staring at the GIANT black thing on my chin and she will accidentally ring up all of our items twenty times each because shes ENTRANCED BY THE GROSSNESS and then we will go bankrupt from the $7,850 grocery bill and…
Husband: LEAVE IT ALONE
Me: SIGH. Fine. I’m just going to, um… go pee. Yeah.
Two and a half hours later:
Husband: What the fuck did I tell you?
Me: What? I didn’t do anything.
Husband: Why is your entire body all red and bleeding?
Me: Um. I had an allergic reaction.
Husband. SIGH. Because THAT looks SO MUCH LESS NOTICEABLE than that microscopic pore.
Me: Shu..Hey, Whats that on your back?
Husband: Touch me and I’ll stab you.
Me:You are so.. Hey.. Kira…what’s that on your chin?
Kira: Oh hell NO. <flees>