Random Conversations

Me: I think I have a..blackhead.

Husband:No.

Me:It’s all gross and stuff. Look at my chin. LOOK.

Husband: It’s a pore.

Me: People are going to like, see it.

Husband. NO.

Me: And they’re going to think I’m gross. Because it’s totally a blackhead. And it’s giant.Everywhere I go people are going to be staring at it. Ill have conversations with the lady at the checkout and she’ll be like unable to comprehend what I am saying because she won’t be able to stop staring at the GIANT black thing on my chin and she will accidentally ring up all of our items twenty times each because shes ENTRANCED BY THE GROSSNESS and then we will go bankrupt  from the $7,850 grocery bill and…

Husband: LEAVE IT ALONE

Me: SIGH. Fine. I’m just going to, um… go pee. Yeah.

 

Two and a half hours later:

Husband: What the fuck did I tell you?

Me: What? I didn’t do anything.

Husband: Why is your entire body all red and bleeding?

Me: Um. I had an allergic reaction.

Husband. SIGH. Because THAT looks SO MUCH LESS NOTICEABLE than that microscopic pore.

Me: Shu..Hey, Whats that on your back?

Husband: Touch me and I’ll stab you.

Me:You are so.. Hey.. Kira…what’s that on your chin?

Kira: Oh hell NO. <flees>

Me: What?

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5 comments
  1. Hah. That could totally be a convo between me and my husband. Gah, that is the worst feeling!

  2. Lisa said:

    I have a friend who tells me when my blackheads arrive. Then she will drag me back to hers, grab a tissue and spend ten minutes going to town on my face whilst saying sentences like “Ooh there’s another one!” “Look at the size of that one” and “This is awesome.”

    When I thank her afterwards for de-blackspotting me she just shakes her head and says “are you kidding? That was the highlight of my day.” I find having friends like this useful.

    • I need more friends that are willing to let me de-black-spot them.

  3. Satan said:

    OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU LOOKING IN MY WINDOWS RIGHT NOW?

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